Sleepless in the Med
The wet dreams I've been having are more like nightmares...not that I'm the one with the problem seriously its not about me the little princess is the one with water troubles....I think she's staging her own version of water-world over and over...its gotten to the point where the only way to ensure a dry night is to take her to the toilet every hour until 1:30 draining the last drop of pee out of her like she was a sponge..the only problem with that is one tends to get tired and fall asleep and then wake panic stricken because you remember Niagara Falls slumbering away has probably flooded the room and is floating down the hall in her very wet bed.....true enough minus the flood slight exaggeration on my part, and I don't know what it is about 1:30 but if she misses one of her hourly appointments then resistance is definitely futile.
My sleep pattern resembles a seismograph before a big quake erratic...I'm tired very grumpy and wishing the wet dreams would end before I do something drastic....like put her to sleep outside with the dog...seriously if it wasn't for mother I think she would have been their by now...and why I'm even sharing toilet duty because sisterhood is apparently all about sharing misery....bloody mothers and their bloody kids this is why I never plan to have children I draw the line at pets...actually scratch that I draw the line at anything living requiring constant love and attention just pass me the house plants....they'll probably shrivel up and die of thirst but I can always replace them without anyone noticing or caring.
We are ignorant because we don't know any better....we are innocent because we believe unconditionally...only one can survive adulthood ignorance is not subjective to youth it is not inherent to class or sex it surpasses all and spares no one....My little nephew and niece take for granted that magic exists there are fairies for everything and evil can be easily conquered with a large megazord driven by teenagers imbued with power by some ancient crystals....if only innocence could survive knowledge...knowledge that great hammer of reality which breaks all fantasy and dreams until all is left is bitterness and emptiness we fill with more knowledge...I envy them they live in a world were everything is possible but also I pity them their sandcastle kingdom unable to survive foaming waves of reality.
I used to think naively that Life was like dodge ball throwing you only what you can catch....I'm sure that would be the case if I didn't have the paranoid feeling that life or its vengeful sister karma hated me or maybe they both teamed up for some tag team take-down...I just wish I had someone to tag me out for respite....unfortunately there is no respite from life there's drugs lots of lovely rainbow coloured drugs to temporarily slip out the back door and take five but hardly long enough for broken body or soul to recover...life these days seems to have morphed into a stereotypical mean girl intent on serving pain and misery as I'm left cowering in a foetal position as every ball hurtles towards me...I spend the time wondering what did I do to piss off the queen bee so much and praying that missile which pelted into my back was the last ball...dear god let it be the last one....How low can I go I don't know at this point I would have thought this was my lowest but apparently life and karma have other ideas I sit here mentally going through my list of everybody and anybody human and trying to figure out who I could have possibly wronged to deserve karmas attention.
I marked the lowest point in my life boldly with chalk and twice with the words FUCKED hoping that I can't possible slip any further....life and karma please stop you've won beaten me down at least let me get up so I can take the next onslaught.
