Let the shopping games begin

Christmas the countdown until it's officially over presents ripped open sweets devoured and dinner eaten...until then it's like the hunger games only it's your money that dies along with your sanity and slowly your loathing for your nearest and dearest grows as you trudge in and out of shops looking for that gift that says I love you it had to be big colourful but most importantly was cheap enough coz you have so many loved ones to show affection for this it's the time of year being marooned on Mediterranean island was good for your pocket....i care stressing and searching tirelessly until the last day Christmas eve when fuck it mode kicks in then it's just give me anything to wrap.

I've started for the past 2 weeks trolling through Amazon filling up my basket still finding time to save what I want for me later to treat myself for the anxiety and extra shifts...only got like 5 people to shop for working more hours this week to make more money to spend on other people I know it sounds unholy to me too....all I keep thinking is when will it be over so I can spend my money on me again.

Spending Queen

Having a regular income means being able to spend more with consistency so having said that I've crowned myself the Spending Queen because I can and there's no here to contest my coronation... I'm typing this on my new tablet it arrived 2 days before its ETA yeah now I'm just waiting for Amazon to cough up my new phone which will hopefully arrive at the front end of its ETA.

March Rambles

Couldn't think of anything clever or catchy so I was just going to write the date then rambles invaded my brains but really all I'm saying is nothing please read on.

Okay since my last post I've gotten lazier...no more like distracted so I ask myself I do that a lot is there anyway I can link all blogs under one roof...well ask and then Google and you have your answer Live Writer....I can post from my computer to blogger and WordPress and anything else shinny that attracts my attention...so why the long over due post well I discovered WordPress actually I discovered it while wallowing away on crap island but seeing how its crap island it wouldn't let me open a WordPress account blogger sure WordPress big fat no no.....anyways once I escaped crap island and was back on civilization WordPress welcomed me with open arms so I repaid the kindness by starting two blogs on top of this one and another I forgotten about rejected coldly like a stepchild so feel free I'm assuming am not some mad woman rambling away in the dark and that there is someone who happens from time to time to peruse by check my other ramblings in the dark....http://catcrazyblogs.wordpress.com/ and my fiction writing blog http://scribblerblog.wordpress.com/

Restless

Can't sleep it doesn't help that my phone is festering with apps and the house has a decent wifi signal...I've spent my sleepless hours spring cleaning my phone then refilling with some time wasting ornaments.....so I'm tired and the sun isn't far from the horizon....i think maybe the cause of my insomnia may have something to do with my little sleepover buddies and their heavy breathing convention with the dry cough sideshow.....while my sister enjoys her weekend respite.....I'm not a contortionist my body is crying as I'm being knead and bent and I think I might be developing simultaneously claustrophobia and vertigo as one child is glued to my back another crushing my legs and am hanging for dear life by the edge of the bed starring at the cold hard wooden floor fiddling away on the phone while I try to extract myself without waking anyone......can you get deep vein thrombosis from sleeping awkwardly?....I can't feel my legsand somebody farted great I can add suffocation to my list.

Old New Home

After the sudden and over due departure from crap island I've been lingering in a funk it's felt like a slow building marathon that suddenly turned into a muscle cramping sprint that's left me listless my brain is still tinkering away but my body hasn't got the will..moving is always overwhelming what with the packing up and leaving your fimilarity to build a whole new fimilar....well I've been looking forward to coming home for so long now that I'm home it's great but it's been smothered by reality... the reality of having to get a job and rebuilding my pile of stuff my all important horde of useless precious stuff.

Maybe it's the letting go off five years it's a large chunk of a lifetime....my turbulent love hate relationship with crap island is proving slightly hard to purge .

Winter Woes

Good Morning and still snowing turning into a blizzard….this was the cold depressing site that welcomed us home after years of voluntary exile to the Mediterranean that sudden flight sensation you feel when you want to retreat to warmness yes that's called you brains common sense saying SCREW THIS SHIT TAKE ME BACK TO CRAP ISLAND I’M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING…..this is a winter of discontent but off course the little ones are eager to experience frost bite.

Tree Protocol

Oh Christmas Tree Oh Fucking Christmas Tree……this is usually the theme song I sing inside my head after Christmas YES YES I’m crazy doesn’t make Christmas trees less fucking annoying putting them up is a hassle all that care and attention just so your tree doesn’t look like a gang of blind elf's attacked it with missiles of tinsel and baubles….once up then its awwwww after Christmas then its FUCK its still there the Christmas tree removal fairy doesn’t exist DAMMIT……then its a matter of how many days can I prolong the inevitable it lasted 18 days 18 days into the new year before we took it down mostly motivated by our departure from Crap Island yes to be honest it would have been sitting there for much longer……we are a species of gatherers, gatherers of stuff an awful lot of stuff that you don’t realise until you have to move to the next hoarding cave.

Late To The Party

I know I’m late with the Christmas post and New Year too……but I’m committing to my laziness and welcoming the new year as I mean to go on completely unprepared and arriving at the end of the party….Well Christmas came once the presents were opened and rubbish packed it felt like a normal Sunday with more stuff to clean up after…New Year it hardly got noticed it was more like the unwanted stepchild that got cast into the corner and told to shut it and so the old year sadly slipped away as I greeted the new year soberly with great indifference…2012 ended it was the best of times but most a soul sucking bitch a year of hardships and misery that we greeted with perseverance and a smile so children could remain completely oblivious to the stress and tears and overbearing fears yes 2012 we survived teetering on the edge….2013 we said goodbye Crap Island having completed Olympic style hurdle jumps then it was HELLOOO England you bastard I’d forgotten how cold you’ve been….SERIOUSLY FUCKING COLD.

Schooled by Mother Nature

Its times like these when I'm sitting at home at the mercy of another of Mother Natures rants that I'm truly humbled which is quickly over taken by indignation "YOU INCONCEIVABLE WANKER" is my favorite train that I like to jump on riding it leaves me mostly I mean completely pissed off boiling enough to make my own cup of tea.....apparently in this technological age all it takes is a little wind, rain a bit flashy lights here and there and the fucking wimpy internet cowers back to the dark age sometimes dragging electricity along for company to make it truly dark....so what do I do sit and wait I reload so many times that if this was some form of masturbation I think I would have had multiple orgasms by now...reload while trying to read not a book those are gathering dust on the shelves....eBooks equal no paper cuts and when I get bored with the actual reading stuff the reader comes packed with lots of nifty tools then its fiddling with the phone plenty of time wasting apps and games installed for just such an occasion or family gatherings....so why the whine well its winter I'm cold its raining and everything is going slowly and I want to crawl back into bed...I think I'll go do that maybe until spring.

Mans World Truly Fucked Up

Tunisian prosecutor seeks new indecency charges against rape victim - TUNISIA - FRANCE 24 Its either the world is fucked up and only thanks to the instant information age that we're noticing or there's too many quasi-men that are fucked up and we're suddenly are able to quantify them...why can't we dump all garbage i.e pedophiles rapists and serial killers into one continent I hear Antarctica is available I'm sure we'd all gladly pay for their shipping in small box crates and dumped down...with parachutes off course I'm NOT totally heartless I vote parachutes be made from lightweight strong materials fishing nets are light and strong aren't they.

Bully Tactics

Israel to build new Jewish settlement homes after UN Palestine vote shame shame I know your name...
a bully by any other name is still a bully.

Gentle Slap Wrist Then Back To Business

US slams Israel's decision to expand settlements - World News Seriously is anyone surprised this happened Israel is poking the bear with a stick...the bear will strike back Israel will respond and scream see I told you they don't want peace we can't work with them...Israel should respect the UN decision you can't expect respect when you don't give any the UN decision came with strict conditions for the Palestinians....peace process depends on both parties adhering to the rules and regulations placed on both of them....this slap on the wrist from the US will be taken and received for what it is by the Israelis an obligatory slap on the wrist your basic badly done Israel badly done scold followed by nothing absolutely nothing...US is Israels biggest supporter unless Israel drops a nuke on Gaza I don't think that will ever change 

Welcome December I've been expecting you like the perpetual dentist appointment that you are...Its the 1st of December and a Saturday way to rain on my weekend Christmas get straight to the screwing and so the countdown to hell begins cold early and begrudgingly secretly hoping the kids don't remember were supposed to be putting the tree up today.....24 days of misery stress and endless trudging back and forth through town scouring for that perfect gift eventually settling as the days dwindle to that'll do and fuck it they'll love it or they better pretend too.....and did I mention money is it me or does it turn like water this month slipping out of your hands quicker than you drink yourself into blissful coma during this happy festive month or does seasonal alcoholic syndrome only affect me.  right up until the 25th is the time I hate the TV every year every other fucking ad is flaunting some new must have toys that have expiration date shorter than the food in my fridge.  I could stop I know I could and just opt out and get off the crazy capitalist driven train that only has two stops death or poverty mine like every year runs out of steam just close to poverty station I have to walk to poor street and get a long bus trip to why the fuck did I not plan this shit earlier like a promise every year after every Christmas...not participating in my own mental decline and monetary theft would make me bad unloving and every other guilt fueled emotion you can think of because nothing says Christmas or I love my nearest and dearest then buying them stuff they want but don't need and all the while insanely driving myself to debtors prison.....Christmas my credit card and rating hate you with a vengeance. 

Mousecapade

Awwww factor just overloaded....I want this guy in my Christmas stocking filler so I can train him to be a ninja cheese stealing agent...mice are small fur balls of cuteness well that is until they escape from their cages then their home wrecking stealthy terrorist out to breed future cells of destruction.....too much coffee in one hour is never a good idea...now I need to get up and go pee.

Please Share Your Crazy Pills (NOT)

GOP Rep. Floats New Conspiracy Theory: Obama Ousted Qaddafi ‘So Al-Qaeda Could Take Over’ | ThinkProgress What rainbow colored crazy pills are the Republicans on I don't know if its a case that they're not getting enough pills to stop the crazies or its too much pills that's making the crazies...if ever a group could be the poster children for the detrimental harm of substance abuse on ones mental capacity then the Republicans are the winners (YEAH you guys win crazy every time...too bad there isn't an election for that) there has to be some sort of drugs involved please don't just be plain batshit crazy I mean I've heard of the elusive SANE Republicans they are rare...but these sane level headed Republicans must be out there ambling along their merry way far from the contaminated watering pool of the common Republican...come back OH great mythical ones your party has jumped head first into the toilet its only a matter of time before someone manages to flush the massive turds convening at the bottom.

Norquist A Case Of Stunted Mental Growth

Norquist: Republicans Should Hold Federal Government Hostage Every Month | ThinkProgress I think this is what happens when the bogeyman crawls out from and under your bed and into the light he does look like a man who would steal candy from babies and tax the poor parents for the crying babies....very scary and you know whats scarier people who listen to and follow crazy.

I'm no expert on the American government but don't these elected officials have to swear an oath to the office because this kind seems like conflict of interest taking another pledge to work against the people they are supposed to represent and I don't mean just the filthy rich and the people who hold things hostage usually called terrorists...Okay I've perused a little bit on Mr Norquist and turns out he thought up his grand plan when he was 12 years old....he doesn't seem to have aged mentally because hes acting like a child having a temper tantrum and won't quit until the adults bow down and buy him the toy he wants.  

I've never seen him so excited | DailyFailCenter

I've never seen him so excited | DailyFailCenter:

'via Blog this' The cat has got a "WHATEVER DUDE" expression like hes heard it all before probably thinking bloody human just feed me and shut up already I've got my own problems....and if you humans all die I got dibs on your ass either way I'm getting fed.

Geek Breeding

I'm a geek not ashamed to wear the badge with honour I love sci-fi and fantasy movies books and comics not to mention games especially rpgs so yes I'm a geek it's easier to admit these days because being one is actually cool now back then only boys liked stuff like that and they were usually pimpled loners floundering at the bottom of the social ladder....probably lower than that COOL was not a word they were labelled with and girls did not like whatever boys liked unless they were the cute boys tall dark brooding football loving cute boys every straight girl fantasised about then you pretended to be interested just interested mind you....I was a closet geek my mother despaired that my geekness was a symptom of a more darker underlying reality that I was a lesbian in my mothers crazed irratic squiggly line of reasoning was that if you don't act like a girl then your a lesbian....alas as much as I would have loved to gift my mother with a lesbian daughter she so clearly wanted...I was onto her reverse psychology fire and brimstone prophecies and eternal damnation because and I quote "you're not a lesbian I didn't give birth to gay kids....other people have gay kids not me"...yes thats the way life works you only get the lemons you asked for...by the way my crazed mother is fine with homosexuals gay lesbian bi you name it she has friends who are gay and will defend them with her last breath just as long as their not her children we've tried in vain to point out her hypocrisy only to be bashed with her bible my mother gets more religious and intolerant with age wisdom and tolerance must be in the lost edition...any ways geek yes turned my little brother into a quasi geek who plays the guitar and loves rock and metal then turned my attention to my oldest nephews geekdom didn't stick with them but they do have a more eclectic musical tastes thanks to me my attentions now have been directed to my younger nephew and niece why because geeks love company....they love comic books what kid wouldn't less words more pictures and all things sci-fi....i feel like Professor Frankenstein trying to create the perfect geek monster I'm close to declaring "ITS ALIVE" before my little creations....right as they strap on the straight jacket.

Go Pro Or Just No

Bastards Bloody bastards.....well you know fucking what last time I ever try to participate in your bully tactics...that WordWeb that I was harping on about well it turns out that I really should of read that small print which I can't remember....I answered the fucking question never mind I lied it asked for an answer not bloody honesty...according to it under the licensing terms who even reads them WHO.....anyways I agreed to blah blah blah and its holding me hostage to blah blah blah something about agreeing to lower my carbon footprint by only flying once a year is that even legal telling someone how many times they can fly so now I have to download the pro that's going to cost me money version....why oh fucking why would I download the expensive stuff when I can just uninstall and troll for another free app I'm lazy and a scrooge not fucking dumb....never overestimate your importance to consumers when there's whole mountain of free shit to wade through.

Bullying Free

I love downloading free stuff....why? well if you have to ask we clearly shouldn't be friends IT'S FUCKING FREE if you must have a reason excuse my french actually wish I could speak french I would say every swear word under the sun then make more up because FRENCH...people it's a sexy language...anyway I digress back to the free stuff I downloaded WordWeb a handy dictionary with thesaurus Wikipedia that does lots of useful stuff because every now and then I remember that I'm a boring adult not a marauding knight or a warlord with a vast conquered empire I don't know what people did before the invention of computer gaming probably wrote books and used their imagination like neanderthals...back in reality I have to do boring stuff with my brain so I install useful grown up stuff so I don't have to use the brain too much....anyways today I tried to use the app to find different meanings because I adult with a huge procrastination problem its like a syndrome with meaning.....when I tried to use my free useful for also time wasting application a message popped up 'if you wish to use the following free version please answer the following question' its seems like a threat you want this then you better do this a nice threat but it still threat...its a multiple answers AWWWW how thoughtful I don't even have to write my answer you know myself and I was so looking forward to letting my free range imagination with ponies and everything go nuts....but no 3 perfectly sane boring simple answers to chose from....underneath my multiple choice is another threat if you don't want to do this then purchase the pro version now if that isn't blatant bullying I don't know what is...the mafia of free downloads has struck and he wants payment for my continued patronage in bloody questions I guess had I bothered to read the small print I might have been warned can't remember if there was any small print addictions can do that to you grip you so fiercely that you click install just to get your fix....I know what your thinking answer the bloody question and move on but that's not the point or the principle I want free stuff no work or hassle this goes completely against my lazy ethos....if I wanted a chronic blitz question I would of signed up for surveys I actually did for some free competition with the absolute knowledge that I had no intention of completing any survey I just delete the emails until they stop or I die.....probably die first spammers are fucking dedicated.....in case your wondering I answered the question it was about flights and if I had taken any in the last year nosy bloody bastards....really wish I could've wrote my own answer my sarcasm is fully charged and ready to bitch all over that....but sadly no I had to go with the lie because hell if I should be imposed upon and fucking honest too.